Relationships Articles

Do you remember how you fell in love with your spouse? Do you remember the romantic nights, the talks on the bench, the walk in the park, the smiling eyes? Do you remember how you used to feel? It felt like a dream didn’t it? I can tell you today that you will feel the same way again. You can actually save your marriage. I will show you exactly how to save your marriage in this article. Obviously I won’t be able to share everything in this short piece of writing, but I will direct you to a great source of information at the end.

One of the very first things you can do to save your marriage today is make sure that you let your partner know that you’ll understand that there is an outline and you are willing and able to cope with it. This understanding will let them know that you are actually committed to solving the problems in your marriage instead of just leaving. This will give you both a strength and power to keep going even though times are tough. Remember that you promised each other that you will love each other for as long as you live. Part of that vow is going through hardships together.

Another great thing you can do is show your partner that you will actually taking action and do something to get rid of your marriage problems. You are not just sitting on your butt waiting for them to do all the work, but you are actually willing to get out, and take the action necessary to get rid of all the problems in your marriage. This is a great way to show your partner that you’re not being lazy, that you still care about your relationship and that you will do everything in your power to make this relationship work.

The last thing which I’ll tell you today is to educate yourself. Buy some books or go online and search for some free information which will be of great benefit to you and your partner. This information will be fantastic because it will show you, from the professional’s perspective, what you should do to actually save your marriage today.

These are just a couple of tips which you can use today. As I promised, here is a great resource which again you can benefit from. It will provide you with great information and give you fantastic additional tips on how to save your marriage.

OK,your marriage/relationship is over. Or is it? More often than not a bond still exists between yourself and your Ex Partner. How you nurture and repair that bond is DEFINITELY THE BEST WAY TO GET YOUR EX BACK.

You now live in separate houses and they both need maintenance. There are things that you used to do around the house that he or she now has to do themselves which perhaps they aren’t particularly good at or don’t like doing. Offer your services and ask for nothing in return. Do a good job of it and you will be appreciated, maybe even missed.

Perhaps you have children, love them and spend quality time with them. Take them to school or to their sports events, look after their financial needs. Take some of the load.

Have you got habits or social activities that your Ex didn’t like? Chances are they weren’t good for you anyway. Cost too much or took up spare time better devoted to your Family. You don’t need to give them up completely but cut down, moderate, and control. Be subtle and let your Ex know of your personal improvement.

Attend family occasions, especially if your Ex is going to be there too. Take your personal improvement seriously so that you can showcase this for him/her and family to see. Be positive and pleasant towards your Ex When you are near. A little compliment now and again would show them you still think that they are attractive. And if you are an improved model then it will not be taken lightly.

When it comes to pulling your ex back, a lot of people don’t actually know what to do, and end up doing the wrong things. However, if you want to get your ex back, the real secret is to know which things will keep your ex glued to you for good. Here is what you must do to pull your ex back once and for all…

Admit where you went wrong - Before you go and argue with your ex over who was right or wrong, just admit where you were wrong. A lot of the time all your ex was looking for was an apology. On the other hand, sometimes our ego’s get so big, that we never want to admit our mistakes, and then blame always goes on our ex. Admitting where you went wrong is a very important step to determining what not to do once back with your ex as well.

Respect what your ex wants - a lot of people have a hard time with the idea of giving their ex space. They will call their ex excessively and go nuts trying to get their ex back. In the end, if that is what your ex wants, respect it and have an understanding of it as well. Your ex may have just had an over dose of you, and is willing to get back together; but he/she would definitely change their mind later if you prove that you cannot respect their wishes.

Be patient - Being impatient only makes you angry, emotional and rude at times. What will happen is you will feel an urge to almost literally force your ex back to you, and you may beg or argue even more. You cannot just get your ex back at the snap of your fingers, so remember to be patient enough to give it some time, rather than just rushing things.

Relationships, there are so many different situations, so many possibilities. Before there can be a relationship the two parties have to concede. That’s right, a one sided relationship is not a relationship at all, it’s a speculation.

Imagine if you could read what your mate is thinking and quietly come to a compromising agreement before any conflict arose. What would you discover when you looked into his/her mind, maybe you wouldn’t want to know.

Women want men to think like them and men, well men want to be mothered. Listen ladies, haven’t you ever heard a man say, “my wife just doesn’t understand me?”

Do any of the following scenarios sound familiar?

A. You think everything is going along fine, and all at once he/she says, “I feel smothered, I need more space.” What do you say? Is there any hope for reconciliation? Maybe you were “lost in love,” and you were just living a “love fantasy”. You keep asking “what happened? What did I do wrong?” Your relationship has just come to a abrupt end and you need to know where to go from here.

B. You have found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with but he/she is reluctant. How do you go about capturing his/her heart? What would be different if you knew the “secrets of love” and knew how to capture his/her heart?

C. You have been struggling with your relationships and have become tired of looking. You just want to know how to find your soul mate.

D. You thought you married the love of your life but your relationship has never grown to anything but mediocre. You’re feeling dejected, sad and lonely. You really want to reignite the flame you felt when you first married. You want to have your mate understand how much you care for him/her and recapture the “excitement of love”.

E. You’re single and date occasionally. For some reason the men/women you seem to attract are of questionable character. Your choice of relationships always ends up with a person who is vague and has a fear of commitment. You ask yourself, “am I to pushy?”

Is There Anywhere You Can Go For Advice That Actually Works?

Because all relationship advice is third party, it tends to be iffy at best and not suitable in your situation. In fact, most relationship advice is biased and slanted toward the gender giving it. A female advisor may say, “men are too focused on short-term results which renders men incapable of falling and staying in love with one woman.” While a man might say, “men seek long-term family relationships and are capable of guiding the family as a unit.”

What a bunch of hogwash.

Men seek two things, First, a good helpmate and second, a good procreator and quite frankly, he wants to trade his mother for a wife. That’s it. A man is more apt to fall in lust first and love second. His physical desire may overshadow his feeling for completeness at first but subsides as he becomes united with his mate. And a woman, well she is looking for security and a mate who will appreciate her and why not, after all she will not only be acquiring a mate but also a little boy she will have to contend with for the rest of her life. Men never grow up, they will forever be boys.

Truelove is an acquired state of mind not something that can be plucked from the air. Just because two people desire each other does not mean they are in love. Don’t worry how the other gentler thinks, think about how you and your choice fit together. Do you mesh like gears in a well greased machine? You have to fit, in mind and soul, then, given time, you will become as one.

Like every challenge there is a learning curve. A time of getting to know each other and finding out how each other react to certain touches, words, actions. One day you will wake up and realize that love has crept into your heart and that person you hardly knew, is now the center of your life. There are no bad marriages only people who didn’t think it through before marriage or are self centered and don’t want to merge with their partner.

Would you want to go through learning how the other gender thinks just so you can do what ever you have to so he/she will want to date, marry, and never want to leave you? You have to be you, no matter what. You have likes and dislikes, faults, strengths you are an individual and when you were made they broke the mold. You have to blend with your mate not change to catch him/her.

Learning the secretes of a person’s heart just so you’ll be able to give the person of your choice what he/she really wants does not mean he/she will cherish you forever. Asking someone to share your life is the biggest step you will ever make. Don’t start with a deception, be honest, and be prepared to stay the course.

Stop guessing what to do and allow nature to take its course. There are no secrets or magic incantations that will make your relationship work. Relationships and success comes from inside of the person who has placed a high enough value on it to succeed.

Happy Trails

These are not just words but your true feelings for your soul mate. It is easier said then done, a very challenging task. Here is how you can use these guidelines to write down your vows-

• To begin, you both should agree on writing personal vows. Your partner could be fussy for same and prefer traditional ones.

• Sit in solace and write down all the keywords of your feelings towards your partner. The job becomes easier when your partner helps you. The subject matter consists of how much do you stand for each other in future. Through happy and sad moments through fights, life and death.

• Search thoroughly on internet about the subject. It is described very eloquently in some official wedding sites how personally written vows have magical effects on brides and guests.

• Consult with your wedding minister about your ideas, he would guide you with religious bounding and make suggestions for improvement. There are certain religions which do not allow hampering with vows and rituals. So just make sure it is all right, before you put in all this effort to write the vows.

• You can also include some romantic phrases and poetry to highlight love, care and understanding in your relationship. Sally and Steve had written their vows beautifully, Steve included few lines of poetry from 14th century classics describing the beauty and sensitivity of his bride. Very impressive! It was a very unique idea and still haunts my memory.

• You can start with traditional phrases like “From this moment” or “I, From now on” or more trendily “I pledge”. Taking up traditional phrases can save you lot of effort as they are all time hits and said over millions and millions of times.

• If you still cannot write them properly, try the old patterned vows with few changes of words and names. They always work.

• Discuss the final version of vows with an experienced family member who can suggest you with some good changes. Elder people are generally very helpful with creative ideas and will guide you perfectly for your own good. Eric wrote ‘I pledge that my spouse”, but Uncle Sam immediately corrected him by replacing spouse with my beloved. It always helps to take guidance

• Finally you have to practice reciting these vows several times before the final show. Keep doing that till you feel that you can do it with perfect feelings and love in your eyes.

Tips

• Include a vow of saying “sorry” to each other, after every fight and disagreement. This will be the most remembered and reliable vow in your marriage.

• Dare to be different by including the modern language and vows of modern times.

• Try writing your personal vows only when you mean and feel them. These are going to be the foundation of your marriage and not an effort to impress friends, bride and relatives.

Listen guys! All you brides and grooms express your heart well, when you recite the vows of your marriage. They are all the more special if you have written them yourself. Keep a copy of these vows even after your wedding, as they will come handy in case one of you forgets them.

When it comes to divorce, the “move on” advice IS being given out way too freely. I am separated right now and have been for quite a long time. It has been quite a journey. “Move on” is really the only advice I get. If that is the only advice I’m getting, I’m pretty certain that’s the only advice my husband is getting. And, our problems are really minimal compared to many.

It’s not my choice. It is his choice to divorce me. However, I do know that I was part of the problem in our relationship. I did some damage in our relationship. I let my anger get the best of me many times and I screamed and yelled and called him a bunch of names and I was not completely honest with him just to name a few. I’m not going to justify my behavior. It doesn’t even matter what he did to upset me so much…. it doesn’t even matter. I need to own up to my responsibility in the relationship. I brought some “toxins” into our relationship. But, it takes two to tango.

His anger comes out much differently than mine. His anger takes the form of abandonment of affection, being inconsiderate and ignoring me and he has not been completely honest with me just to name a few. Just like I’m not going to justify my behavior, I’m not going to justify his. It doesn’t even matter what I did to upset him so much… it doesn’t even matter. In order for us to salvage the relationship, he needs to own up to his responsibility also. He also brought some “toxins” into our relationship. But, I can’t MAKE him NOT divorce me. It’s his choice.

I’m well aware that the above relationship has mild problems compared to most. But, the message applies to everyone. Do not justify your behavior. Take responsibility for the “toxins” you are putting into it. Do not blame your spouse for your own behavior. Do not blame your spouse because you cheated on them. Do not blame your spouse because you physically harmed them. Do not blame your spouse for your own behavior. You can only be in control of you. You cannot be in control of someone else. As long as you continue to blame your spouse for the “toxins” you put into your relationship you will NEVER be free… you will be dependent on another person for your happiness. Divorce is not going to solve your problems.

And that is how you salvage a relationship, both parties taking responsibility for the “toxic” behavior they are putting into it. Then standing up and saying today is the first day of the rest of our lives! We are both going to try our hardest to be kind, honest and considerate. We are both going to try our hardest to not let the old “toxic” behavior in. We are both going to try our hardest to let go of our resentment for each other. We are both going to start taking some responsibility for what we are putting forth in the relationship. We are both going to work on communicating better. We are both going to work on being more respectful of each other. We are going to start working for what we both want… happiness.

Something worth mentioning of course is NOBODY is perfect. So try to be a little more understanding and a little more apologetic. This article is obviously meant to be a guide. It is a guide to try and put your relationship back on track. It is not perfection and it not the “end all be all” but it is meant to be a helpful guide. But, the bottom line is, if you continue to justify your own behavior, you are wrong.

Obviously, if both parties do not take responsibility and want to work on it… the relationship is over. But if your children are at stake, please do not “move on” until you are certain there is no way to salvage it.

Do you find it really difficult to find out exactly what men need from a relationship? Do you find that your love life is suffering because you don’t know how to attract men? Do you have trouble understanding male psychology and want to find a great source of dating advice? If you want to attract men then understanding what they want and need can be a great place to start. If you want to know what men need then carry on reading.

Men like some things to be left up to their imagination, and so you don’t need to wear clothes which reveal everything. You need to make sure that you play slightly hard to get. Don’t answer every single phone call and don’t tell them everything about you. You should be using slightly mysterious answers as these will make him excited. Men are basically hunters and love the thrill of the chase. If you don’t give him the option to chase you then he will quickly end up getting bored.

Men want confident women so that they are not scared about showing their true personality. Men are excited around confident women and that’s why you should improve your self confidence. Make sure that he knows you are busy and hopefully by doing this he will start to miss you and chase you. Men really like to chase women and by giving him this opportunity you will make him treasure your relationship.

When a man is looking for a woman to date they aren’t that picky. They may start to choose women who are irresponsible or cheap. This is just because men don’t understand what they want themselves. You need to show them what they are missing so that they know they want you.

There are a number of things you can do to attract a great guy and understand what men need.

Dress to impress

You need to make sure that you wear comfortable clothes, but don’t wear anything that is too slutty. Make sure that you also avoid your business clothes. Wear anything that you are comfortable wearing so that you will be confident.

Play hard to get

Don’t pick up the phone all of the time because this can show that you are desperate and have nothing else to do. Forget to phone him back if you miss his calls and don’t tell him everything that you get up to. This will keep him guessing and maybe make him want an exclusive relationship.

Give him control

If you want to make a guy feel secure in your relationship then you need to let him take control. Let the man do all of the hard work and just enjoy the ride. If you allow him to have control then he will be much happier with your relationship.

By understanding what men need from a relationship you will find it much easier to attract the right types of guys. Good luck!

Whassup? What does it mean?

I cannot remember how many single mom’s came to us after the divorce and were totally devastated because they didn’t know what was ahead. Lets put ourselves in a courtroom during a divorce hearing. We have basically (2) or (3) potential blooming idiots getting ready to prove their stupidity. You guess who these “stars of the show” are. Well, lets quit the smokescreen and I will tell you.

Sometimes it is (1) attorney, sometimes it is (2) attorneys and sometimes it involves the Judge. In this particular case, here is poor little “Linda” getting a divorce from “Outdoor Bob”. Prior to their marriage, Linda had perfect credit and Outdoor Bob, being a rascal, had ziltch for credit. Linda was told by Mom and Dad, don’t marry that bum. Well, love prevailed and they got married.

Outdoor Bob, needed a truck to go to work. Linda went with Bob to the local Ford dealer and bought a new Ford pickup. Linda had the credit so the loan was in her name. About six months later, Bob started to stop off on Friday at the local saloon to cash his paycheck. Sure enough, there was a dart board there and a few of the guys started tossing darts for beers. Bob was pretty good and they invited him to be on the local dart team.

This meant practice on Tuesday and Thursday night with tournaments on Fridays. Well, Linda got fed up with this malarkey and arguments started. Soon a divorce was the only solution. Linda’s parents were the old fashioned “ I told you so” type of folks. They did not get into the middle of the squabble.

When they went to court, the lawyers agreed that Linda would get the kids and Bob needed the truck to get to work so he could pay Linda. Sounds logical, but dangerous. The Judge NEVER instructed anyone to find out “who was on the loan” but simply awarded the truck to Outdoor Bob. As long as he kept his carpenters job, he could make the payments. Everyone was satisfied.

Linda moved to Florida and got a job as a, school teacher, here in the area. She wanted to buy a house so that the kids could have a home. Lo and behold! She gets a notice that Ford Motor Credit is suing her for the deficiency balance on the Ford truck that they repossessed from Outdoor Bob. The deficiency was over $5,500.00 Even though the Judge instructed Bob to make the payments, he didnÂ’t. The judge never thought to check with Ford Motor Credit to see if they would accept Outdoor Bob as the new guarantor on the loan. They of course wouldnÂ’t have done it anyway. After all, BobÂ’s credit was terrible.

The end of the story is we were able to get the lawyer for Ford Motor Credit to accept a much lesser amount because he was trying to get a default judgment on his fees. That was illegal here in Florida, so with his hands in the cookie jar, he just wanted to get it over rather than have his name placed in front of the Florida Bar Assn.

ThatÂ’s the importance of knowing what to do in a divorce situation. This could have been averted IF the Judge had stipulated that Outdoor Bob would get the truck IF he qualified under the credit requirements of the lender.

Divorced folks really do not have any place to go for guidance. Sure a good friend offers a shoulder to cry on, but the tragedy of having personal credit destroyed from a broken marriage is serious. In another article we deal with authorized users of a credit card. This is important after a divorce also.

Regis Sauger - Licensed Florida Mortgage Broker, Author of “What everyone should know about credit”National Seminar Speaker.

Are you a salesman? If you are, you’ll recognize this technique right away. It’s a standard technique used in making a sale, but with the twist of making yourself more attractive to the opposite sex.

Let’s say you meet a woman for the first time. You’ve already gotten past the introductions and are getting to know each other a little better. You’re flirting a little and developing a chemistry between each other while talking.

There’s a place in this ‘conversation’ where you begin leading up to the next level, such as getting her number, a date, or begin kissing. However, this is the spot where you change your strategy.

Put this picture in you mind. You’re at that critical point of progress, but instead of gratifying her desire to kiss, get a date, or whatever, you look at her and say that you’re sorry, but you have to get back to your friends. Then, being totally relaxed, get up and tell her that you’ll see her again in a while. Make sure that you keep eye contact while doing all of this.

She’ll either be stunned or start trying to keep you with her. But, keep moving. Be nice, but continue to make your exit. Go on back to your friends and get on with whatever their doing. At this point, you can even talk to another girl; however, you might want to practice this technique a few times before doing that. This is a potent technique, so use caution.

This will drive her crazy. She’s going to ask herself why you’re not with her anymore. She’ll even try to get you attention. Her mind will be filled with thoughts of you.

Later on, go back and see her again. You’ll probably have to go through a few preliminary steps to regain some ground, but don’t be surprised if these are cut very short and you’re back talking intimately with her again quickly. Now that you’re back with her, she’s going to do whatever she needs to do to keep you there. Her goal is to build your attraction to her.

That’s it in a nutshell. By using this technique, you make yourself highly desirable prize that she wants. Instant attraction is that easy.

Your relationship has gotten so bad that you are talking about divorce - when you are talking at all. Should you consider a trial separation? Why and why not.

A trial separation is a huge step to take - an acknowledgment that your marriage is on the brink of collapse - a public statement of your situation that can no longer be hidden from your children, family, and friends. Choosing to live apart for a time is not an action to be undertaken lightly - but neither is divorce.

When a trial separation is probably a poor choice:

1. You are both sure that you want the marriage to work and are committed to making changes to create a better relationship. If you are not actively considering divorce, don’t consider a trial separation either - regardless of your day-to-day conflicts.

2. One or both of you are sure that you want a divorce. A workable trial separation requires both parties to be in civil communication, and to agree that there is some possibility for the future of the relationship. If either your partner or you knows they want a divorce, a “trial separation” would be a painful farce.

3. Something unacceptable has occurred in your relationship. Physical violence or threats of violence are always unacceptable. You may or may not also consider adultery or other behaviors unacceptable.

4. One or both of you intends to date or have sex with someone else during the “trial separation” period. If either of you desires to be intimate outside the relationship, just get the divorce and be done with it.

5. Either of you is sure that the other is 100% to blame for your difficulties. Reconciliation - whether through a trial separation or otherwise - requires YOU to change. If you are unwilling to consider making changes, file for divorce now.

A trial separation is likely to produce a good outcome when you and your partner agree that either reconciliation or divorce are possible and acceptable outcomes of your current difficulties. Both of you understand that the purpose of a trial separation is to reach a mutually acceptable conclusion about the viability of your marriage.

A trial separation has NOT failed if you both end up amicably agreeing to divorce. A trial separation is a time to weigh both options - without attachment to either.

The benefits of a trial separation are the opportunity to:

1. Eliminate co-dependence. Spending time away from your partner, provides each of you with the space to develop self-assurance and minimize neediness.

2. Develop self-responsibility. When there is no one else to blame, life looks different, and provides an opening to become more aware and responsible.

3. Explore new interests. Develop new hobbies. Join affinity groups. Try a photography group or a book club.

4. Experience a relatively stress-free cooling-off period and gain a more detached perspective.

5. Minimize the stress on your young children. While some experts would argue that having one parent move out of the home increases the stress on children, I believe that the benefit of no longer seeing Mommy and Daddy fighting far outweighs any negative effects.

If you do opt for a trial separation, it is important to:

1. Deepen your support system. Share yourself even more deeply with those who know and love you.

2. Become more introspective about your situation. Keep a daily journal. Consider what you like about yourself and your life. Consider what you would like to change about yourself, as well as your relationship.