Relationships Articles

Best Friends are really special. We talk about how wonderful to have them, but we don’t talk about the pain of losing them.

The love you feel for a close girl friend is different from a love relationship but it is not less meaningful. Unfortunately, in our society today the love for a best friend does not have the same value and support as for romantic love. Losing a lover through death or divorce fits within our understanding out loss and grief. But the loss of a best friend, through death or divorce - that is, a permanent falling out - has no socially Accepted guidelines.

“Linda and I had a long distance relationship,” Carla sadly chuckles. “We talked at least once a week, sometimes more often. We were two time zones away but for 11 years since I moved away, we worked around that. We made a point of getting together 3 or 4 times a year. I love my husband, but loving Linda is a different kind of love.

“She was the first person I called when Terry asked me to marry him, even before I called my mom and sister. Whenever he and I are at odds, she is always there to listen to me vent about Terry, to help me see the situation more realistically, and to walk me through the mess with him.

“We used to joke what would we do without each other.”

Carla’s voice breaks. She takes a deep breath, as if gulping in air would ease her pain. “I guess I’m finding out. Six months ago she was diagnosed with breast cancer. It was a quick decline. She was dead within three months.

“What makes me so mad is that if it were Terry who had died, I’d get time off from work; my friends would be calling on me, offering me sympathy. But Linda is ‘just a friend.’ Baloney. She’s my best friend, my soul, my stabilizer, my special other half, in a way Terry - as much as I love him - can’t be. But she’s just my friend, so life expects me to carry on.”

We live in a world with rigid ideas about love and affection. We have work place rules and social etiquette rules. The inflexibility of these rules, though, ignores some realities. Carla would be able to get time off from work, or a reduced price plane ticket, for the funeral of her sister, even though they haven’t spoken in decades, but not for her best friend.

In many communities, when there’s a death, friends and neighbors come with the proverbial casseroles and pies. The bereaved gets company, food, sympathy. Carla, though, did not have any of that. Most people don’t think about the depth of the loss when it is a non-family member.

The same lack of understanding occurs when best friends have a permanent quarrel, or to put it another way, when best friends divorce.

“Mary just dropped me; I don’t know any other way to put it,” bemoans Laurie. “Although this was 10 years ago, I still get teary thinking about it. I have no idea why she just stopped talking with me, stopped returning my calls. We had been such good friends for years. After several months, I wrote her saying she at least owed me an explanation. Boy that was a mistake. She wrote back tearing me to pieces.”

Laurie’s eyes water as she goes back a decade in her memory. “I don’t know what was worse. Hearing all the things she didn’t like about me or having no one to talk to about losing my best friend. You know, if Laurie were a Larry, everyone would understand why I moped around for months, my work performance flagged, but you don’t get sympathy for breaking up with your best friend.”

Carla and Laurie understand the power of best friends - having them and losing them. There are rituals for dealing with the death of a spouse and a family member, but there are none for the death of a best friend. People know how to respond if a friend gets divorced, but they have no idea how to respond if that friend gets divorced from a best friend - even though the pain can be just as intense and the loss just as big.

Chances are Carla’s and Laura’s bosses have had similar experiences because losing a best friend is not uncommon, it’s just not often acknowledged, and the pain is rarely discussed.

There are many different ways you can lose a close friend — through death, a quarrel, changing interests or growing in different directions. When couples split up, their friends may drift away, not wanting to choose sides. No matter how you lose a best friend, it always hurts and leaves a hole in your life. The loss needs to be respected and given the same credence as the loss of any loved one. It hurts just as much to lose a best friend.

Anyone who has a best friend should show that person how they care about them by sending them a flower delivery of roses for Valentines Day. You have so many options when it comes to roses that you are sure to find something that will really make your best friend happy when you send them to her on Valentines Day. Do not wait to tell your friend that you care about her.

You should not think that Valentines Day is just for romantic love. It is a day to tell anyone that you care for your feelings. One of the best ways to do this is with flowers. You can send your friend roses that signify that you love her and that she is your best friend.

There are many options when it comes to sending roses to your best friend for a Valentines Day flower delivery. You can stay with a bouquet of yellow roses, which is a very traditional way to send flowers to a best friend. Yellow roses symbolize friendship and a bouquet of yellow roses to your best friend on Valentines Day is a good idea.

In addition to yellow roses in a bouquet, you can choose pink roses as well. There are some designers who are using a lot of pink roses in their Valentines Day floral arrangements this year. Pink shades in these designer arrangements vary, but these are perfect to give to friends. If you want to order an impressive Valentines Day flower delivery, you can get one of the designer flower arrangements for your best friend.

Blooms in a box are also very popular and ideal to send to your best friend on Valentines Day. These are unique flower arrangements that feature a box that, when opened, reveals a bunch of flower tips. They are set in the box in such a way to make them appear like jewels. Blooms in a box are all the rage and will make an excellent gift of roses for your best friend on Valentines Day.

Candles and flowers go hand in hand and you can get a flower arrangement that comes with a candle. You can choose the bouquet as well as the candle type when you go online and get a candle and floral arrangement for a flower delivery for Valentines Day.

Going online will let you see everything that is available when you shop for roses for your best friend for a Valentines Day flower delivery.

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” Dale Carnegie

Few people would question the benefits of having a great circle of friends.

Throughout our teenage years and into our twenties, friendships are so very important to us. They distinguish who we are, decide what we do, where we go and what we buy. We really think it will be this way forever.

Then life steps up the pace. Our careers take shape; we get promoted, get married, get a mortgage and have children. Some friends move away. We find it difficult to manage our time and responsibilities, and gradually our friendships fade. This is not normally what we want.

The challenge here seems to be how we fit friends into an already overcrowded life. Friendship can be like a marriage, it must be worked at. People do change and priorities change when people change.

To keep a good circle of friends around us, we must look after our friendships. This ensures they grow with us through our ever-changing lives.

If you do feel your friendships could benefit from some TLC then read on, here are some tips on improving this area of your life… if your not already, you can and will be surrounded by wonderful people.

Firstly, and if there is only one piece of advice you take from this article please take this piece of advice, start by treating others how you want to be treated. I can’t stress how important this is. If you’ve heard of the Law of Attraction, you will know that what we project to the world comes right back at us. The way to work with this law is to decide what qualities are most important to you and then you need to start giving them out in abundance, because you simply cannot receive what you don’t give. If you don’t believe me, try this for one week and see the results for yourself. Try it with anything and you’ll be amazed at its power.

For me Honestly and Trust are a great foundation for choosing friends. Be rich in these qualities and you will receive them back in abundance. Be caring and understanding. Don’t make arrangements or promises you won’t keep - be a trustworthy friend.

Ask yourself…what qualities are important to you?

Secondly, choose your friends very wisely. Be clever and focus your time and energy on friends who make you feel happy; choose to be around friends who make you smile and bring sunshine into your life. Choose friends who are worthy of your precious time and attention. This will make all the difference to your life as it’s very difficult to sustain every friendship you have ever made. No one has the time for that!! If you don’t intentionally choose which friendships you give your attention to you’ll have less time and love to give to those who are truly worthy of it.

Thirdly, make time for your friends. We may think of friends and want to call them, then something might crop up and we never do make that call. Time passes and that call is never made. This is the main reason friendships fizzle out. It begins to feel easier to walk away than make the effort of fixing the friendship from neglect.

Be honest with yourself, whatever you might tell yourself you really CAN make time. Only you decide where you put your attention each day, week, month and eventually the whole of your life. You need to be aware of where you are focusing your energy. Be conscious of how you use your time and choose to prioritize the people in your life.

The truth is all friendships do require working at. Make the time to send your friends an email or give them a quick phone call, write them a letter, send them a card or invite them round for coffee- show them that you care about them. Otherwise how will they know?

Then, enjoy your friends and have fun. Any long term friendship can go stale. So if you take the time to freshen up your friendship. Have some fun. You might not be 16 anymore, but that doesn’t mean you can’t get a little silly. If life isn’t enjoyable, then what’s the point? Concentrate on having fun and laughing with your friends and your friendships will stay a positive part of your life. You’ll be a joy to be around and attract some happy people into your life!

Lastly, accept your friends the way they are.. some friends are great on the phone others are not. Some friends like to be out partying until dawn; some friends might prefer a night in sharing a nice meal or maybe even out to see a film. Some friends know the right thing to say, others don’t. It’s crucial part of managing your friendships, accept people the way they are. Fighting your friends’ natural personality is never going to work. We cannot control other people, and frankly, we shouldn’t want to.

Give your friends the room to be who they are and don’t try to change them.

Hello My Friends,

Hope all is well and you are enjoying the journey! Today I must talk about friends, after all I am getting older and I have learned alot about this subject. I will though be careful for I am not a doctor and I don’t know everything, only what I have seen! Now that this is clear, we can move on.

Friends is a tricky subject, the most of trickiest subjects. Are they friends, acquaintances, novelties, wanna be with you, showcases, or true till the end friends? That is the question you must ask yourself for the rest of your lives! This is one of life’s realities you cannot ignore, push aside, or not try to figure out. Unless you are extremely ignorant! Don’t be!

I have a great number of real friends, let me say that again. I am lucky to have some good friends. I will not mention them for they already know who they are. I do have two new friends who have adopted me and we’ll see how that works out. For I put them through something I didn’t think I had to go through, yet I did, because that’s what happened and your friends help you when you need it. If they are true friends.

For the youth of America, look at your friends, are they true? There is no way you will know for years to come. But if they help you through today they are on their way to being a true friend. A true friend is something earned nothing else, earned! My car broke down will you pick me up, I’m really ill, I had a accident will you pick me up, I was arrested please come get me, one of my parents beat me come get me, or whatever disaster you are going through will they help? If they do it, they are on their way to being your friend. The journey takes many roads, how many will your friend travel with you. They might have roads they have to take! Do they stay in touch, do they call, do they ask how are you? If they do, they are on their way to being your friend. The roads of life take you many miles, your friends will travel those roads with you, even if they are not there. True friends will always stay in touch.

As we all grow, we realize our business acquaintances are not all friends, some steal our ideas, tell us we don’t fit in, try to destroy us, because they realize we have life experience, or presence, or personality, that they will never have no matter how hard they try. Friends, as you get older changes! Look for true heart, people you see who do care, trust your instinct, it’s usually right. Believe in yourselves, I know you have heard this before, yet it is true, believe in yourself! As time passes you will know who your friends are. Remember, to watch out for you, no one else will except a true friend!

Teddy Mueller 2007

Are you being a good friend? Do you have friends that you appreciate? Would you like to improve your friendships? Is your loving partner your best friend?

As a Marriage, Family Therapist for 27 years, I helped many people resolve issues with their friends and create healthier friendships. The same principles apply to romantic relationships. Ideally, your loving partner is your best friend.

The following are some mistakes friends make and how to improve the relationship.

1) Mistake: Try to fix the person. Solution: Ask the person if they want your help and the kind of assistance they wish to have. Some examples are to just listen, or tell them what you would do in their situation.

2) Mistake: Be impatient. Solution: Be patient. We all appreciate when others are patient with us.

3) Mistake: Be unforgiving. Solution: Forgive others when they blunder. We all make mistakes.

4) Mistake: Discount or judge the other person’s feelings. Solution: Accept all their feelings and help them express them constructively.

5) Mistake: Take personally what your friend says. Solution: Understand that what people say or do is a reflection of them and not you.

6) Mistake: Be indifferent when they are upset. Solution: Comfort the other person when they are hurting by being compassionate and reassuring, listening, giving them a hug, etc.

7) Mistake: Tell people what to do. Solution: Help them solve their own problems with win-win solutions.

Mistake: Be jealous of their success. Solution: Be happy for them when they experience success and reach their goals.

9) Mistake: Drop them when you are romantically involved. Solution: Continue to connect with your friends even when you are in romantic relationships.

10) Mistake: Withhold your thoughts and feelings. Solution: Tell them your thoughts and feelings in a loving way. Take responsibility for them by beginning your sentences with “I feel” or “I think.”

11) Mistake: Break your agreements Solution: Keep your agreements, or inform them before that you wish to change the agreement.

12) Mistake: Do not feel worthy or deserving of the friendships. Solution: Realize that you deserve loving, supportive friends.

13) Mistake: Take them for granted. Solution: Let them know that they are important to you and you are grateful for their friendship.

14) Mistake: Expect them to help you overcome your loneliness. Solution: When you love and like yourself, you are not dependent on others to fulfill your needs.

15) Mistake: Bombard them with your problems. Solution: Ask them first if they are open to hearing a problem you are having and keep it short and to the point. Then focus on the solution.

16) Mistake: Be their leader or follower. Solution: See each other as two equally powerful people.

17) Mistake: Be too busy for friends. Solution: Set aside quality time for your nurturing, supportive friends.

18) Mistake: Try to make them just like you. Solution: Honor who they are and be aware of how you complement each other.

19) Mistake: Be disrespectful and hurtful. Solution: Respect them and be kind.

20) Mistake: Be willing to take abuse. Solution: Love yourself enough to remove yourself from abusive relationships.

21) Mistake: Expect them to be your therapist. Solution: If you need professional help, seek a therapist.

My best friend has been with me since high school, we’ve married men the other couldn’t stand. Our children have been intertwined in each other lives since birth. They share a closeness even though they grew up miles apart. We call or email each other whenever we need to catch each other up on our lives. She has been there for me through thick and thin, good times and bad. I was there during her first boyfriend, I was there when she married her last boyfriend four days after graduation. She was there when I received my first kiss, she was there for my wedding, she was there throughout my divorce. We have had our fights throughout our friendship. We have loved each other always. She will always be my best friend.

To be a best friend you stand by them no matter what decision they make. To be a best friend you never judge her/him you love them, you protect them if you can, and you learn to make them laugh when they are crying inside or out. You forgive the unforgettable, you love without stipulations, and you encourage them to make the decision that is right for them, not aways the one you feel is right.

This is what it means to be a best friend. You have a sounding board no matter the problem, you have a shoulder to lean on, a hug, a laugh, or a smile whenever you have misplaced your own sound of reason.

There have been times throughout our lives, when we have lost track of each other. After all with adulthood you think about responsibilities more then you do a friendship or keeping track of someone who is important, but is not a number one priority on your list at the time. While I might wish, this not to be true, it often was for her as well as myself. After all we both had husbands, children, and families to think about first, and so one or the other would be brushed to the side for a time.

We never stayed gone for long, one of us would feel the need to discuss our feelings or some certain problem and call or write. This is when you realize what a true best friend means. You pick up right where you left off maybe just moments ago, or a year ago, but it still feels like yesterday.

My best friend has done these things for me, and I have always tried to do these things for her. We accept each other with all our flaws, we argue, we laugh, and we’ve had serious conversions which have lasted all night long. No matter the years that seem to fly by one thing never changes I have a best friend to turn to whenever I need her most, or just want to share a crazy thought or two.

Many times, we are too concerned about finding a good friend and we forget to ask ourselves whether we are good friends to people. Are you a good friend? To really answer this question sincerely, you need to make sure that you look deep in your heart and really see the kind of person you really are. Many will discover that they have the element of jealousy in them. When you are jealous about your friends, you have a cancer that will just keep on growing if not dealt with. You might be very good when it comes to smiling and talking to people but deep inside, you feel like you are burning up with jealousy. In life, you cannot have the good element of growing a true friendship if you are a jealous person. Therefore, you have to look for ways to make you a better person. You will heal from your problem only if you are willing to change your negativity. It is a high time to embrace healthy competition in life without feeling malice for your close friends. We will always find people who are beyond us and there is no reason in becoming something you are not.

A good friend will overcome jealousy by confessing. Start by confessing it to yourself. This way, you will feel bad or guilty when you do something that you know will not please your friends. To become a good friend, you must embrace the spirit of true affection and this is exactly what you will get back. In many instances, people think that their friends do not notice them being jealous. The green fangs of jealousy are pretty hard to hide and chances are that you will make comments and decisions that will give you away. Work on this to overcome it. Once you are good to go, your life will even improve; people will give you more respect and, you will become more lovable. Let us look at another problem that keeps you from becoming a good comrade. If you are out to spoil the names of others, you are likely to remain without a friend for a long time. The moment people know about your behavior, they will avoid you like the plague. Remove your mind from being petty and grow up.

To make a good friend, you need to know that honest love and affection will always carry the day. If you are in a friendship for convenience, what you are gaining might run out and, when this happens, you will show your true colors. Therefore, if you are not willing to show love in a relationship, it is best that you do not enter it in the first place. Be yourself at all times and avoid all those vices that might compromise your friendship. In the end, true friendship will always pay and it is worth investing in something real. Once you put the above tips to work, you will start to see the difference. You will also be happier instead of just being on your toes wondering what everyone is thinking about you.

Recent research indicates people no longer have close friendships. However they are important to your happiness and wellbeing. Friends can offer you an important means of support. Also the support you can offer a friend can be highly satisfying and an important way to boost your mood. A friendship can bring important benefits to the both of you.

Focusing on your friends and relationships rather than material things or simple pleasures will reduce your feelings of depression. Friendships can boost mood, increase self esteem as well as easing stress and worries. Research at Flinders University has found that having close friends can help you live longer. In fact friends reduced the risk of dying by 22% over a 10 year period.

Your friends are there for you to share the good times with. Friends will be truly happy for your successes. Time with friends should be about doing things that make the both of you happy. It should not be about bringing each other down. If some of your friends frequently fail to offer support and sap your confidence and happiness, you may want to ask if they are actually your friend. Remember you can choose your friends. Make sure they have a positive influence on your life, and make you feel good about yourself.

Work to make time for your friends. Email them, phone them, write a letter or send a quick text. Try to arrange a time on a regular basis to meet up. Take the opportunity to phone them and ask how they’re doing without dumping all your worries on them.

Do you want more friends? Join a group or class that you are interested in is a good way of meeting people. Chatting in online discussion groups can provide you with friends throughout the world. Else you could get yourself a pen pal. Your friends can live all over the world.

You do not need hundreds of friends. A handful of people you can rely on and trust is plenty so don’t feel what you have isn’t good enough. Remember: don’t take your friends for granted; make time for them and nurture them.

When you need a friend, Friend Finder will be there for you. This is a dynamic dating service where you can not only meet special friends in your life, but you can also meet those who will win your heart as well. It is a place that you can trust to provide you with cutting edge state of the art service when it comes to meeting people from all over the world. Friend finder comes with a wealth of experience and, its huge membership will inform you that it is worth using the service. For many years, the service has been able to produce countless success stories which are able to provide you with the encouragement that you need in this regard. First, it is vital to acknowledge the fact that their site is pretty attractive to the eye. They not only give you information in a clear manner, but they will draw you with their display. It is often wise to consider the service that will be attractive for you. This way, you will not regret on the decision you make in this regard.

Friend Finder boasts of over 1 million members and that number continues to grow everyday. The process of joining is pretty easy. You will just need to register and ensure that you have entered your desired username and follow the instructions. When you give out your e-mail address and other details, you will be given a password in which you can use to log into your account. Your account will be the center of many of your interactions. The cupid settings will match you to the suitable matches. You can them choose to go ahead with interactions or find your very own new friends through chats. You also have the opportunity to change the cupid settings if you wish to go a different direction when it comes to people you wish to meet. Speaking of chats, through Friend finder, you will be in a position to gain access to all corners of the world as you get a variety of chat rooms to interact with.

Friend finder will also ensure that you chat face to face through web cams and, you will find that people are able to enjoy their time in the service for friendship and dating. You will also find dynamic features when it comes to the service and, you will not just have forums to keep you informed but, you will also have the opportunity to give your opinion through articles. If you wish to become a blogger, you can activate your blog as you get to invite other people into your network. You can upload as many photos as you want. There are so many other features that I cannot mention but, to start benefiting from this service, you need to visit the site right now. The services are absolutely free and you will have lots of fun. You have nothing to loose when it comes to going through the service. There are several things that you will find intriguing and, one thing I’m sure of is that you will not regret your decision.

Anyone who’s looking for advice on where to go to meet new people need not look far; tons of websites, articles and chat rooms have advice on just about anything, which can be accessed without breaking a sweat. Although these advices are quite informative and useful, the real essence of meeting new people is not on the “where”. It’s easy to find someplace where people get together: one could join an organization, enroll in a class or volunteer in the neighbourhood. But, when you’re already in a group, what next? This is the not-so-easy part: how to meet new people once you get there.

Approaching someone and getting them to talk may not be that hard, but it definitely requires action on your part. Surely you can’t expect people to come over and talk to you when you’re just there, not doing anything. Keep in mind that you might not be the only person who’s having a hard time trying to meet new people. If you are painfully shy, take the initiative to overcome the shyness. Self-help books and websites are always available to provide answers to your questions and possibly solutions to your problems. If the shyness becomes overwhelming, it would be best to consult a physician or therapist.

You may not know it, but you might be having a condition known as social anxiety disorder. Even if a person is shy, there’s always a way to learn behaviours that can make one more outgoing. The first and most helpful step is finding the right location. Look for a place where other people will have at least one general interest similar to yours. Check out what’s available in your area-you can enroll at the local college or volunteer for projects through local volunteer centers in your area. Prepare a list of potential questions to ask someone even before you get to the location.

Avoid yes or no questions-open-ended ones allow the other person to say more than a one word answer to the conversation. Think of things that would make you both feel comfortable, because the other person could be shy, too. Take time to look around the room after you walk in the door. Don’t panic when you’re not talking to anybody yet. Try to get a feel for the group while looking at the people. Now, for the real task: approaching someone. look around for somebody who’s alone-it’s usually easier to approach a person on his/her own than in a group and chances are, that person may be just as shy as you! Do your best to make the person comfortable when engaging him/her in a conversation.

You can do either the direct or indirect approach. As the name implies, direct approach is well, direct. Muster whatever courage you have and walk up to the person and say hi. This is quite challenging yet often yield positive results. To make yourself less intimidating, stand next to the person instead of making a beeline for them. Or make eye contact first and smile-it is almost certain that the person will smile back, and give you the motivation you need to talk to them. But, if the mere idea of striking a conversation with someone makes you quiver, you can try the indirect approach.

For example, if you’re in a classroom, inquire if the seat next to someone is already taken. Use the opportunity to introduce yourself as you sit down. Now that you’re acquainted, you can mentally rehash your prepared questions. Be as engaging as you can be-keep the person talking and talk about yourself, too (not too much, though, or you’ll end up looking like a show off). Do a friendship follow-up to know the person deeper. It could be coffee after class or a group study that can lead to a strong friendship, who knows?