Relationships Articles

When it comes to how to conceive a girl naturally there are many different methods couples can use. However, it is far better when a couple are trying to conceive a girl naturally that they use methods that have some scientific evidence to back them up, instead of using some of the old wives tales.

Below we offer a number of tips that you and your partner may find useful and which may well increase your chances of conceiving a baby girl rather than a baby boy.

Tip 1

As the sperm carrying the female gene prefer a more acidic environment then having shallower sex is better for you. A good lovemaking position that helps to deposit the sperm closer to the cervix entrance is the missionary position. Making love this way ensures that far more of the male sperm will be killed of increasing the chances of the female sperm reaching the egg to fertilize it.

Tip 2

Another thing you as a couple can do in order to increase the chances of you conceiving a baby girl is to make love around 3 days prior to when ovulation takes place. The sperm carrying the female gene swim a lot slower than those carrying the male and so will be around still after the egg has been released.

Tip 3

One further thing a couple can do especially the women when it comes to how to conceive a girl naturally is making changes to their diet. For the women they need to include foods such as soya beans, leafy green vegetables and nuts in their diet as they are rich in magnesium. They will then help to support the sperm carrying the female gene and which means that they are more likely to be the ones that fertilize the eggs.

Parenting is hard work!  I was reading an article at CNN.com the other day which focused on parenting.  They had an interesting quote in there that I decided to focus on today.  It said,

“What we need to understand is that our job as parents is not to finish our kids or produce perfect kids. It’s to start our kids.” 

Stop and think about that one for a minute.  I think this applies equally to both biological and step children.  Let me show you what I mean:

BIOLOGICAL CHILDREN:

I’ve always felt that my job as a parent is to teach my kids how to live independently.  While it’s nice to be needed, ultimately they need to NOT need me.  A lot of parents jump in and try to protect their kids from experiencing difficulties in life.  This prevents kids from experiencing real life though.  All of us learn from hard times better than we do when life is easy.

Unfortunately, a lot of divorced parents take this to the extreme.  They feel so guilty for the “hard time” of the divorce that they do everything they can to shelter their kids from any other difficulties.  While in theory this sounds nice, I describe it as not parenting!!  If you don’t set limits with your kids and have expectations for them anymore, how will they ever learn to do things for themselves?  I’ve worked with far too many children of divorce whose parents took this “non parenting” attitude.  These are some of the most self-centered and obnoxious people I’ve ever met.  They grow up thinking the world owes them and will manipulate in any way possible to get what they want.  Is that the legacy you want to leave your child with?  I sure hope not

STEP CHILDREN

Because you come into these kid’s lives later, it’s not your job to “parent.”  Instead, your focus needs to be on building relationship.  The goal shouldn’t be for a perfect relationship and perfect kids.  Instead, focus on starting that relationship.  Plant seeds and put in the time to begin that relationship.  Your spouse may parent those kids completely different than you would.  They may not be the “perfect” children you would have wanted.  The best thing for you to do is let that desire for perfection go.  You aren’t the one who has the power to perfect if anyway!

So. whether you’re a bio or step parent, remember that you’re on this journey in order to help this kid learn how to live on their own.  You’re responsible for laying a solid foundation for them that they will use to get them through their adult life.

When it comes to a separation it can be a very painful time for both parties. If you want to have your ex wife back, then you must first understand why she left in the first place. There are many reasons that a marriage fails, but there are always warning signs that something is wrong. Understanding those things will help you in your quest to getting her back in your arms.

The important thing here is to remember if you are able to reconcile your relationship, not to slip back into old habits. This will only lead to another separation, and the next time you may not be able to reconcile. The first thing that you can do to figure out where things went wrong, is to think about the arguments that you had, and what they were usually about, and who started them. Once you have figured this out, then you are half way to your goal.

While you are working on mending your relationship there are a few generally things that can be done that will make you look better in your ex wife’s eyes. The trick is to keep up these new and positive habits once the relationship has been mended.

If one of your ex wife’s major complaints were that you either drank too much or you were out with your friends to much, then reduce the time you spend doing these activates. This does not mean to stop seeing your friends altogether, and unless you are an alcoholic then reducing the amount of alcohol you drink should work. Start this process while you are still separated and she may start looking at you in a better light.

Second major thing that men tend to do when they are hurting is they get angry. A hot tempered man is never a turn on for a woman, so controlling your temper is always a plus. There are many things that can be done to help a person control their temper from classes to breathing exercises. Getting control over this emotion is one of the best ways to attract your ex wife, if you continue to work on this after the reconciliation.

Women do not like slobs and good personal hygiene is always the best way to attract a woman. A woman wants her husband to look his best at all times, so cleaning up your act will add to your chances of getting her back. A clean home and good hygiene are always a plus because she just might see the man she married. This will be one of the fastest ways to attract your ex wife.

The harsh truth is the main reason that women leave their husband is because of financial instability. Women need to know that they will be taken care of even if they have their own career. Start getting your personal finances in order, and once you are financially stable this will put you in the best light.

While there are many other reasons for the failure of a marriage these are the most common. It is important to try to understand your ex wife if you wanting to reconcile your relationship. She married you for a reason, so there may be a very good chance that she will come back to you if you take some time to understand where the relationship went wrong. The most important thing to remember is that once you have made these changes you have to stick with them, or the relationship will fail again. Understanding the best way to get your ex wife back, is making positive changes and not slipping back into the old routine.

Has your life has taken an unexpected turn because of separation or divorce?

Are you unsure what to expect from the future?

Are you feeling drained?

Are your children irritable or having mood swings?

Is communication in the family not as good as it used to be?

Do you want to make sure your children will be ok?

The good news is that children are amazingly resilient when they have the right support. Real life is rarely perfect and never predictable. Here is what can make the difference between just surviving and starting a new and rewarding life together after separation or divorce.

Learn to ride the emotional roller coaster.

Emotional highs and lows are to be expected. Adapting to life changes can’t be rushed but can be supported. Children do find the emotional highs and lows hard to understand without adult help. Think of emotion as a message. We can use this emotional feedback as a call to action to solve problems. Learn to ride the emotional roller coaster and know how to deal with strong and unwelcome feelings.

What to do

- Talk about feelings and encourage your child to pay attention to what they are feeling.

- Agree what you will all do when someone is feeling low. Aim to soothe feelings and contain unwelcome behavior until the mood lifts. -Have a variety of strategies which match the mood. Learning what works comes from experience.

- Keep talking to find solutions that work for your family.

- Sadness responds well to quiet time with lots of reassurance. Sharing a story or a watching a film together is comforting and creates time for rest and repair.

- Anger erupts when a child feels threatened or unable to trust the situation. They will try to take control to feel safe. Once your child accepts that their anger carries a message they will be more able to calm down. Then you can begin to find out what it is behind the behavior.

- Anxiety comes from uncertainty and feeling insecure. What else might happen next is often an unspoken question for children. Children have great imaginations but this can lead to them imagining more and more extreme possibilities. Be calm and reassuring. You don’t need to have all the answers. Tell them you know it will get better.

All you need is love.

Children will cope with setbacks in life when they feel truly loved by at least one person. When parents separate, children become aware, perhaps for the first time that love can end. This is very frightening. Children worry that their parents will stop loving them too, they need to hear repeatedly that this will not happen.

What to do

- Let your child know why they are lovable. Saying I love you is great but telling them exactly how they are brilliant gives your child a real sense of who they are.

- Give praise for effort as well as achievement. Children who are praised mainly for achievement can wonder if that is what is important to you.

- Encourage your child to notice self improvement. Comparing what they can do today compared with last month gives a real sense of progress.

- Let your child tell you what is lovable about you. Learning to both give and receive love is an important life skill.

Love the child but not the behaviour

There will be times when your child is not at their best. Sometimes behavior does become a challenge. Remind yourself that the family is learning a new way of life. Accept that behavior you don’t like will happen. Remind yourself that you are a capable parent who has planned how to deal with challenges. Mistakes are stepping stones to getting it right.

What to do

- Don’t accept behavior that goes against family rules and values. Remind your child why the behavior is unacceptable. -When you do X I feel disappointed because.. -

- If your child is on the top of the emotional roller coaster don’t join in. Use one of your preplanned strategies to keep things calm.

- Allow time for everything to settle down before you discuss what could be done better next time.

- Use what questions rather than why questions. Ask -what could you do next time?-, instead of -why did you do that?- The word why, is always followed by because, which creates a need to justify and defend. -What else could you do?-, is more neutral and avoids confrontation.

- Be positive. Tell your child you have confidence in their ability to do the right thing in future.

Invest in your emotional bank account

How we feel, depends not only on what happens to us by chance, but also on what we make happen. Children are much more likely to live in the moment and at the mercy of their feelings. You can help your child to become happier and more in control when you help them to focus on positive feelings and experiences.

Our general well being results from a combination of positive feelings, thoughts and behavior. When you change thoughts and behavior in small ways it will gradually lift how you feel.

What to do

- Find activities to share that you all will enjoy. Create new interests to replace ones that are no longer available.

- Make a scrapbook or take photos and look at them together, relishing the shared experience from that day.

- See as many people who make you feel good as time will allow.

- Decide that you can avoid people who you find draining for a while.

- Finish every day by sharing as a family what has been good. Each person finds 3 good things from their day. The intention is to notice and appreciate every day details.

- Build your emotional bank account of positive feelings by choosing books, films and music that are uplifting.

- Encourage your child to learn new skills or take up a hobby.

- Find ways to smile and laugh. Both are great for reducing stress and releasing feel good chemicals into our bodies.

- Be patient. Change takes time. Notice each small step in the right direction.

- Find support. Meeting others in the same situation can be a great boost. Organized support groups are about celebrating success and problem solving.

- Imagine a new future. Visualize what you want life to be like in a year’s time. Write a letter to yourself from the future explaining what you did to get there. You might be surprised what great ideas you have.

- Once you have your own plan get the family together to write a family version. Encourage everyone to have their say about what life could be like and how to get there. This is a wonderful opportunity to discuss what everyone needs to make life satisfying.

The biggest difference between unwed parents and a childless married couple that is divorcing is that the unwed parents will continue to come in contact with each other while the childless couple will both go on their separate ways.

As an unwed parent the child custody landscape always looks rocky. While it is intuitively obvious that married couples will go through a divorce process, there is nothing intuitive about being an unwed parent and going to court. So what is an unwed parent to do?

To me it seems that divorce for a childless couple is far less complicated than the custody process for an unwed couple. But the process for any parents will be very similar. One of the first things to do is establish paternity. This can normally be done by signing a document. If paternity is in question the court can order a DNA paternity test. Once paternity is established, the rest of the process can proceed.

The most important thing on any parents mind is the question of visitation. If the parents were never married and did not live together, how do they determine visitation, or is it even necessary? The short answer is yes. Of course there are reasons why the answer would be know but that is in the extreme, like danger to the child.

While the court is waiting to hear your case, you will probably want to make arrangements for the other parent to have visitation with the child. This will be a good sign that you are willing to co-parent or at least share the child if you are awarded custody. While you should allow the other parent visitation you should also make an effort to establish a reasonable schedule that works well for the child.

Remember that while you may not get along with the other parent, they are still your child’s parent and your child has the right to have a healthy relationship with them. Even if you find it painful, put the child first and ensure they get to have a great relationship with both of you.

It’s been months - or years - after your divorce. You’ve made peace with your ex-spouse and built a new life alone. You keep up with your spousal support and child support payments, see your kids regularly, and have entered into a new relationship. Everything seems to be going well, until one day your obligations to your previous marriage start to interfere with your new relationship. Things come to a head, and you’re at a loss for what to do.

After a divorce, healing often takes nothing but time. Yet even after the initial pain of divorce has subsided, its effects may still linger. Dashed hopes and damaged emotions can negatively impact your future if you let them. Striking a balance between integrating and separating your past and present lives can mean the difference between a successful new relationship and one which falls apart.

Step One - Open Channels of Communication

Be honest with yourself and the people close to you. Your new partner has a right to know about your past and where you stand. Trying to keep a failed marriage “hushed up” only gives the impression that you are untrustworthy and have something to hide. Instead, let your partner know about your legal and emotional obligations to your previous marriage, but tell him or her that you are committed to your current relationship.

Step Two - Define the Rules

By being open with your partner, you have created an environment where you can both discuss the rules and boundaries of your current and past relationships. Together, you can find common ground on issues such as additional child support or alimony payments before they flare up. Define how much time, money, and energy you will devote to your previous relationship, and the time you spend in your current one will be that much more pleasant.

Step Three - Learn to be Diplomatic

Your current partner, your ex-spouse, your children - everyone involved or affected by divorce will have differing interests and points of view. Your job is to navigate these waters with the skill of a practiced diplomat. Try to see each issue from multiple points of view. Be prepared to compromise as long as it doesn’t violate the rules you have set. Adapt your lifestyle, your mindset, and your finances to your obligations.

Child custody is viewed by the courts as an extension of the parents’ obligation to provide support and education to their children.  The concept behind all child support laws is to protect the minor children from the detrimental effects that might result from a divorce or separation of their parents. It has been the courts’ focus to ensure that minor children from divorce or separated parents get their educational, emotional, physical, and financial needs met in spite of their parents’ separation. In other words, spouses can divorce from each other, but they don’t divorce their children.

The parent’s’ duties toward their minor children do not end with divorce or separation. Parents must provide for their children until they reach legal age.  Legal age can vary according to the state where you live in; however, when reaching 21 years old an individual is considered an adult for all legal purposes in most of the states.  There are other ways that a minor can acquire legal age.  In legal terms that is called: emancipation.  Emancipation can result from a minor getting married or from a minor not able to rely on his or her parents for support, thus becoming self-sufficient.  Depending on what state you reside, there could be other situations leading to emancipation.

Historically, children were viewed as property of the married couple.  After the divorce, minor children were traditionally passed to the father’s care, because in those times the father was considered most likely to have the means to provide for the care and support of his children.  Later on, by the mid 18th Century, the mother became the preferred parent for custody purposes.  This practice was adopted by the courts based on the concept that mothers were more able to provide for the care of their children, especially during infancy and early childhood.

Later on, the tendency in the courts was to not award child custody to a working or professional woman, but to the father instead.  Nowadays, courts are more objective about the factors to consider when awarding child custody and visitation rights.

The way judges would see the parent’s gender as a base to grant child custody has changed over the years.  One thing that has not change is the standard or principle under which a custody case is adjudicated.  That is: the child’s best interest. 

I often hear people discuss custody when they have no idea what the meaning of the word is. Is it any wonder then that people are so confused and scared about this? So let’s define what we are really talking about here. There are two types of custody that the court considers: (these are generalizations, not legal definitions)

·         Legal Custody - The right to make decisions regarding education, medical care, dental care, and religion.

·         Physical Custody - This is the right pertaining to where the child typically resides.

When both parents have these rights it is considered “Joint” Legal or Physical Custody. Even if the living arrangement isn’t an equal split, the parent with less time can be deemed to have Joint Physical Custody.

No matter what type of Legal and Physical Custody (sole or joint) are granted the visitation schedule needs to be worked out. Read that again then come back. What most people are talking about is the visitation schedule (sometimes referred to as a parenting plan) not custody. While custody does have certain rights, parents almost always have the right to visitation with their children.

First things first. If the parents can come to an agreement, they can draw it up and the court will likely accept it as is and simply file it because it meets the needs of all parties and the court doesn’t want to interfere if it isn’t needed. However, if the parents can’t come to an agreement, the court considers how much visitation time a parent will receive, and is guided by the “best interests of the child.” This is where you get do your homework and really build your case. If the child is an infant and the mother breast feeds, fathers’ visitation is likely to be short daytime visits. If one parent lives out of state, the visits are likely to be holidays and summers. If the parents live close to each other, the child is healthy, 7 or 8 years of age or older, and both parents work normal schedules, it is highly likely that an almost equal schedule can be reached. You should be seeing some practical patterns emerge at this time.

Finally, let’s look at how the child’s wishes affect the outcome. It is a myth that if a child is 12 the court will do what they want. There is no magical age and no guarantees. When the court interviews the child, they do so privately. What the child says is kept private and is not shared with anyone. The court will take into account the situation of both parents, the age of the child and how mature they are, and what the effects of the child’s wishes would have on the relationships of the child with both parents.

You can see that there are many factors that the court must weigh before making a decision. There are no hard and fast rules and no one can predict the outcome. But you can put forth a reasonable argument based on your circumstances if you know what the court is looking to accomplish.

Have you ever wondered: what am I going to do to get through this feeling of poor self-esteem now that I have been left by my former significant other, spouse or partner? Surviving the pain of a breakup, separation, or a divorce is devastating when you can’t seem to think clearly, and don’t have others to talk with about taking the first steps to move past this feeling of isolation. Have you had too much pride to even talk to others about what just happened? How do you even begin?

Are you asking yourself: How can I just take some “baby steps” to start changing my thoughts so I don’t feel so down and depressed about what happened? Well, wonder no more. There are some steps you can take to move past this feeling of “being stuck.” There are five rules that will help you thrive not just survive the pain of a breakup, separation or a divorce. Let’s take a look at them.

Rule #1: Select and associate with optimistic, high-energy people who will lift you up from the doldrums and get you out to experience life. Eliminate spending time with those who are “downer” people in your life. Associate with those who are “good role models” who are passionate about life and see the “glass half full” not “half empty.” Being with those who exude energy will attract positive energy to you.

Rule #2: Focus on what you want in your life, not what is missing. What you think about and concentrate on grows. Focus your thought and efforts on what IS working, and what is going better and right in your life. That will attract more of those experiences.

Rule #3: Stop listening to sad songs or stations programmed with topics that are depressing - - things that are not working. Turn your TV off for several months and stop watching news programs. You have enough challenges right now in your own life and don’t need to add the local and national news to your list.

Rule #4: Start feeding your mind with uplifting thoughts and ideas. Just like you eat meals each day to nourish your body, think of ways to nurture your inner Self to keep a positive outlook and frame of mind as your go through your day. Listen to audio tapes and CDs that are inspirational messages from motivational speaker like Deepak Chopra, Louise Hays, and Marianne Williamson. Borrow these tapes and CDs from the public library and listen to them as you’re getting dressed in the morning, when you’re driving in the car and just before you go to bed at night. Listen to audio tapes and CDs that catapult and inspire you to a higher level of success.

Rule #5: Reprogram your “inner computer.” Pay attention to the words you say to others about your situation or about your “Self”. Our mind is like a tape recorder. We take in what we hear and accept it as truth. So be aware of any limiting thoughts or beliefs you say to yourself. Notice what and how you talk about yourself. Learn to reframe the sentences that sound negative. Say positive statements, affirmations that you hold true about you and what you are accomplishing.

Our self-talk has a great influence on how we see ourselves. It will take serious effort by you to re-program “old messages” that you have “played in your head” or believed about you over the years. Take responsibility for what you say and how you talk about yourself. Learn the words to use to program yourself positively and eliminate the words that are self-defeating. “If it’s to be, it’s up to me.”

I invite you to implement these five rules for 30 days, and see the amazing results that you will receive because you believed in yourself. Honor yourself and notice the “shift” that will happen.

The other day a paralegal sent our business an email asking where she could find child custody forms and papers for her state. I was surprised that someone in the legal profession was asking this question–aren’t the attorneys and their staff supposed to know these things? Her email made me realize that custody forms and papers can be confusing and overwhelming for anybody. So, to help bring some clarity to the subject, here is some information about the child custody forms and papers that you need for your custody case.

The first thing to figure out is where you can find the papers you need. This is complicated because every state has different forms to fill out. So, you need to find the forms and the laws about custody for your state. The good news is that most states now put their custody forms online–you just need to search for you state and custody papers. Double check to make sure that any paper you’re filling out for custody is for the state that you live in. Also make sure that any advice you’re getting about custody applies to the state that you live in. You can also get the custody forms that you need at the courthouse. Generally, you go to the district court in your county to get these–it’s the same court where you file for divorce. Any courthouse that you go to should be able to direct you to the right place.

When you’re filling out the papers, make sure you have the right ones. This can be tricky because many times you fill out different forms depending on your circumstances. For example, you may need fill something out if you and the child’s other parent don’t agree on custody and you may fill out a different paper if you do agree on custody. Most of the forms that you get online have explanations. You can look for more resources because sometimes the explanations are confusing. You can always go to the courthouse and ask about the papers. And, if you have an attorney, your attorney should answer any questions that you have (and help you fill out the papers).

Take your time when you fill out your forms. Make sure that you have some quiet time to concentrate so that you can fill them out properly. Check all of the information that you have on the papers–because the courts will check it and if there are errors they won’t be accepted. Do it right the first time so you don’t have to keep filling them out.

You can take a lot of the difficulty out of filling out your custody forms. Expect to spend some time figuring out where to get the forms and how to fill them out. Once you’ve put in your time and double checked them, you’ll be ready to file them with the court and move on with your case.